Tom,
 
> I'm a little puzzled, troubled, etc.
 
No sweat Tom. What we have here is a bit of the classical communication
problem ("That is not what I meant") intermixed with the usual gender
paranoia (which inhibits factual discussion).
But for the most, I guess that the postings just 'branched off' instead of
being meant as a direct answer to your initial posting.
In short: The discussion got a dynamic of its own and you did not get your
answer because other people found other aspects more interesting and went on
leaving you waiting on the curb, or behind, or whatever fits that metaphorical
image.
 
Daniel
 
> Tom, who will try to shut up for awhile and watch this play itself out.
 
Nah, hiding in your shell is never good and it's not that hot anyway.
Go on and post again and try to channel 'your' thread into the right direction.