A colleague of mine wrote this out for my local listserver & I had to share
it. If you have contributions, feel free to post them to this list, but
send a copy to [log in to unmask] so he can keep the master list.
And to Larry Jarvik - you might want to let us know Newt's official plans
for this matter.
>Now that the only non-military service the Federal Government will soon be
>providing is recommendations for video rentals, I've been thinking that we
>should offer our expertise as media scholars for the operation of this
>The Government's merger with Blockbuster Video is a foregone conclusion (I
>believe it's in one of the later sections of the Contract With America,
>right after the section making masturbation a Class 1 felony); I suggest the
>new entity should be called Block-Grant Video. This way, Federal aid to
>states could come in the form of 2 for 1 video vouchers. Since Newt has
>already suggested "Boys' Town" to solve the problem of impoverished children
>and "Field of Dreams" to end the baseball strike, maybe we could help him
>out with some more suggestions.
>What are some videos which could alleviate the funding for:
> -- School lunches
> -- CPB
> -- NEA & NEH
> -- the United Nations
> -- AFDC
> -- Public housing
> -- Public schools
> -- anything with the word "public" in it
> -- the Post Office
> -- Roads (who'll need 'em in the information economy, anyway?)
>With the franchise possibilities of the future United States of Block-Grant
>Video, I don't think *we* need to worry about our jobs! There'll always be
>a demand for mediated panacea, and we're the experts.
>Forward this around, and we can present our suggestions to Newt himself!
The favorite response I've seen so far is a double shot for school lunches
& Prop. 187: "Eating Raoul."
jajasoon tlitteu ([log in to unmask])
"You've probably heard that Microsoft has recently taken over the Catholic
Church. The Vatican was pleased, saying, 'Well, we've been using icons for
over 2000 years, and Microsoft has only been using them for 3, so we figure
we'll be able to help them out a bit.'"