It's too bad that the current discussion on spousal abuse contains so many ad hominem attacks. I'm afraid that such a strategy prevents us from listening to one another (not unlike what goes on in abusive relationships). The fact is that female to male spousal abuse is one of the most undercovered issues in the media. It is true that more than 90% of domestic violence reports to the police come from women. On the other hand, there are at least a dozen studies, including two by Murray Strauss and his associates at the Family Violence Research Center, which suggests that women hit men more frequently and more often with weapons than men hit women. In addition, women were more likely to initiate the cycle of violence. This raises a couple of issues. First, why the disparity in domestic violence reports? The research suggests a) that men hitting women did more physcial damage than the reverse; and b) society reinforces the notion that men should be able to "take" the abuse from women -- thus, "men don't tell." Second, why are 52% of the spousal murder victims men? Because the pain inflicted by men on women (no matter who initiates the violence) results in women engaging in more extreme methods to protect themselves (the case of Lorena Bobbitt should only be surprising in that it doesn't happen more often). The key is that domestic violence is a 2-way street. Unless we devise better ways of developing skills to deal with feelings of frustration and powerlessness in relationships, this tragic problem in our culture will continue. Rod Carveth University of Bridgeport [log in to unmask]